BBQ Wishes and Caviar Dreams

     I recently went to a Kansas City Chiefs game thanks to my friend, Sean O'Quinn.  It was a lot of fun, even though the Chiefs lost.  The seats were great too, right on the 50 yard line.  The thing about professional sporting events is that whatever is lacking on the field in excitement is made up for in the stands by overambitious fans drinking too much alcohol and getting into conflict with each other.  We sat near a couple of these fans.  And although we didn't get things thrown at us that day, I've seen it happen.  As I began thinking about these last few months and the months ahead, my thoughts turned towards professional sporting events.  Life is kind of like being at one of these games: you never know what is going to be thrown at you and from which direction.
     About a week ago, Tracy and I met with a small team of NICU staff to discuss our future plans with Jude.  Our doctor had made several phone calls to St. Luke's Hospital in Boise to inquire about the possibility of Jude returning there.  Our doctor informed us of many things about Boise, all of which would be too much to list here.  Some of the important facts about St. Luke's versus Children's Mercy are the quality of care that Jude would receive.  Our doctor said that they could take Jude at St. Luke's, however, there would be some big differences.  The most notable difference is that baby's with tracheostomy tubes are not accepted into the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) at St. Luke's so Jude would have to be in the PICU (Pediatric Intensive Care Unit).  And although a pediatric doctor is board certified to care for an infant, it is not their specialty.  We also talked about how not only do things run differently between hospitals (kind of a no brainer on that one) but that things run very differently between the NICU and PICU and so the amount of attention Jude receives might change drastically (he get's 1:1 ratio care currently) as well as the general routine that he is used to would be different.  Our doctor, again, felt like it was possible to transfer Jude in due time but it may or may not be the best choice.  Other factors that we had to consider were that Jude would be going home with a tracheostomy tube, which he'll have for at least eighteen months, and he will most likely be going home with a ventilator.  Because of these variables, Jude is not a very mobile baby nor can he be babysat by any campus student or teen with a night free.  In Boise, Tracy and I would need to be with him at all times since we would be the only one's trained in trach-CPR, trach-care, and have enough confident experience to know when he needs medical attention or just got some extra fluid down his tube.  Here in Kansas City, Tracy's parents and youngest brother can be trained at Children's Mercy along with Tracy and Myself in all of his care needs.  In addition, they have been present with him enough to know better than most what is an emergency situation with him.
     When it came down to it, Kansas City really is the best place for Jude.  Tracy and I did have and still do have conflicted feelings about the decision.  Conflicted because we don't dislike Kansas City, but we were not ready to move from Boise.  It has always been our plan to move to Kansas City to raise our family, but we are about a year and a half ahead of schedule.  But, since Jude was also about a year and half ahead of schedule I suppose it makes sense.  Truly this decision was difficult for us to make.  Some of our deepest and most meaningful relationships are in Boise.  We are grateful for the time we did get in Boise and the people who touched our lives.  We will forever remember our time in Boise as one of the best we ever had.  For now, we look to the future in Kansas City.  A future where Jude can receive some of the best care in the country.
     Our decision is definitely bittersweet.  It's a ying and a yang, a sweet and sour, hot n' cold decision.  We love Boise but we also love Kansas City.  We're excited to be a part of an amazing family here and an amazing church but we also wish we didn't have to leave our other family.  That's why in the end, we decided to cast emotions to the side and do what is best for Jude.  It's amazing how a child changes your perspective.  Before Jude was born, I was determined to go back to Boise as early as possible (again, not because I disliked Kansas City, but because I love Boise.)  Now, knowing that this is where is best for him I'm resolved with our decision and hope for a bright future for our miracle baby.

-Chris