Delivery Day

Chris here, I thought I'd take over temporarily since I was both awake and lucid during the last 24 hours.  As stated in the previous post, Tracy was finishing her update to the blog page when "the dam" that was in her stomach burst and we were made very aware of just how much fluid she had in her stomach (let me tell you, the difference between 30 minutes before her water broke and 30 after he water broke was like the difference between having half a beach ball under her shirt and having half a soft ball under her shirt.  She literally lost 10 lbs in 10 seconds.  I haven't seen a stomach shrink that fast since The Nutty Professor turned into Eddie Murphy).  So, at about midnight last night we headed off to the hospital.  Speaking for myself I can say that I was scared and not feeling terribly optimistic.  You can't blame me though.  Our doctor had told us just a week prior that our biggest fear should be Tracy going into labor over the next six weeks.  We like our doctor a lot and appreciate his honesty and forthrightness, but he definitely painted a grim picture for us the week before.  He had said that if Jude were to be born in the next few weeks that his chances would be slim to none for surviving.  He said that babies with Jude's condition have enough stacked against them without having to be born premature and that if Tracy were in labor, they would try but it would be almost a lost cause to try and perform the exit procedure and that it in all likelihood Jude would not survive the birth.  So, like I said, you can't blame me/us for not feeling optimistic as we drove to the hospital after Tracy's water breaking and her experiencing contractions.
      When we got to the hospital Tracy's contractions were only 2-3 minutes apart.  They were able to slow her down to 8 minutes apart by 3am.  The Mitchell clan, (Dad, Mom, Natalie, and Jake) waited in the waiting room till nearly 4am until I told them that we weren't planning on doing anything tonight.  Our doctor came in from his quiet bed at home and began making phone calls to the surgical team that we had previously met.  He told us that we could hope for Jude to stay inside for 1-3 days and that there was a chance he might even stay in a week.  He said there have been cases of babies staying in for another 2 to 3 weeks but that we should not hope for this since it did not appear possible given the contractions and there unwillingness to stop.  He said he felt we could maybe get a day or so and again reminded us that this situation was not a good situation (as if we needed the reminder).
      Tracy's contractions stayed consistent through the night and into the morning.  About 10 o'clock this morning, she began experiencing a lot of pain with her contractions.  They checked her for dilation and found she was fine.  They gave her some pain meds and continued to monitor her.  The pain, however, only got worse.  By 11:30 she was in excruciating pain from the contractions and feeling a little cheated since she was not supposed to have to experience any contractions according to the plan laid out through the exit procedure.  However, it wasn't too surprising since nothing was obviously going according to plan since none of this was supposed to happen and certainly not this early.  It was at this point that they checked her cervix once more and saw that she was dilated 5cm.  By the time they rushed her into the O.R. at 11:50, she was dilated 8cm.  Jude was coming and was not wanting to wait.  So, they whisked her off, after what seemed like forever after saying they were delivering and I'm sure seemed ten times longer to her, and a short time later Jude Micheal was born at 12:34 PM.  He weighed 4 lbs 0 oz and was/is 17 and a half inches long.  Several doctors (He had a room of between 15 and 20 doctors and nurses working on the whole procedure) came and told me shortly after that the procedure went flawless and he was doing surprisingly well.  They said that all the things they check for, oxygen saturation, blood pressure, breathing (followed by some mumbo jumbo medical term) was all doing great.  They all seemed pleased but generally surprised that he was doing so great and was so stable.
       I was able to see if about 45 minutes later and Tracy got to see him just before he went down to the NICU about and hour and a half after he was born for just a moment.  I went with him down to the NICU and hung out with him.  I even got a chance to hold his hand.  Tracy was able to make her way down to see him later at night.  She got to hold his hand and be with him for awhile.  She is still incredibly sore, unstable on her feet, and gets nauseous easily.  You would hardly know it though when she's in bed.  She talks normally and unless she has to move around a bunch is just fine.
      I've been able to spend significantly more time with Jude.  He is bigger than I expected him to be and stronger.  He will hold your finger if you offer it and has a pretty good grip actually.  The mass is quite large and prevents you from seeing his chin and pretty much anything below his nose.  We have no new information regarding the procedure(s) needed to remove it.  All we know is that he is currently stable, which was not to be expected, and that while he's stable there's not immediate rush to remove the mass as it doesn't necessarily have an adverse affect on his growth and development.  Plus, his recovery from the procedure to remove it will go better if he is bigger.  He does have respiratory something something disease that is indicative of all premature babies.  Basically, our lungs create something that helps them work properly and since he is premature he doesn't have as much of that so they are giving it to him.  He has a tracheostomy tube (a tube that is inserted into his throat through an incision just above his voice box) and he is on a ventilator to help regulate his breathing (although he shouldn't need to be on the ventilator for an extended period of time.
     Anyway, we are grateful for how God has blessed us this far.  Tracy and I agreed earlier this evening that it was obvious God wanted to work through this pregnancy but he also wanted us to have to learn to rely on Him and trust in Him.  I must confess that today I felt truly humbled as a simple man.  As Jude and Tracy were in the O.R., I got down on my knees in my room and prayed.  I had to admit before God that I was but a simple man.  A man who has not done anything to expect special treatment from God but who could also not help my son on my own.  There was literally nothing I could do at that moment or at any other to help my son.  I begged God not to take my son, but to deliver him (no pun intended, at least not at that moment) from danger.  Now, I have learned from Dave Weidner over the past few months to think of myself in such humble terms.  Through Dave I had to pray through and discuss the idea with God that I am not as great, powerful, etc. as I might think I am at times.  To be honest, part of my almost daily prayer consisted of me admitting to God that I, to steal a term from a poker player getting called on a bluff, "got nothing."  Today, however, I really understood fully what Dave meant and how I think God wants us to feel.  Not powerless, as if we should be afraid.  Not, defeated as if we are hopeless.  But humbled and thus empowered knowing that it is not up to me whether my son lived or died, but it was up to God.  When faced with the possible loss of my son I could do no more than seek comfort from the only one who could have provided it to me at that moment.  God not only delivered my son and wife safely, but he delivered peace to me during a time when anxiety reigned.