The Ol' Ball and Chain

     We've all heard the term "The Ol' Ball and Chain."  It's a term used to describe a wife that holds you back from doing what you really want/wanted to do much like the prisoners that used to wear a ball and chain were kept from doing what they wanted to do.  I don't want to focus on what the ball and chain prevents a person from doing though.  My wife is my ball and chain not because she prevents me from doing what I want to do (although she has prevented me from doing things I probably shouldn't have done and for that I'm NOW thankful) but she, like a heavy ball, is my anchor.  Now, calling your wife a ball and chain is bad enough, but a heavy ball?  I think by the time this blog is over with I will have explained my harsh choice for an endearing term.
     As I have mentioned before, Tracy spends most days at the NICU.  Now, when I say most days I don't mean like how you work at a job most days meaning five out of the seven days a week.  I mean that she is at the NICU everyday, all day.  She does find time to venture away for a couple hours here and there for lunch outside the hospital some days or if family or friends come in town she'll take a couple hours to be with them.  But on a regular day (which is most days otherwise it ceases to be regular) she is at the hospital up to fifteen or sixteen hours a day.  If you read my last blog you'll know that this is draining. 
     I take time nearly every day for myself.  I go for long prayer walks, go to the gym for a few hours (don't get too proud of me, the gym's a long drive from the hospital), do home improvements at the Mitchell home, occasionally meet up with friends, etc, etc.  The point is: as crazy as I get being at the NICU for as long as I am each day, Tracy is always putting in nearly double the hours.  She's by Jude's bedside nearly all day long and sometimes late into the night, often after I've walked back over to the Ronald McDonald House for the night.
     Now, I know many of you are thinking "well, sure she is.  She's the mother.  She has motherly instincts to nurture so it just comes easier to her to be there.  I mean, that's what most mom's would do."  And I would agree.  Most moms would probably spend just as much time as Tracy does at Jude's bedside and most father's would probably get away about as much as I would.  I think what separates my wife from most and what makes her my ball and chain, our anchor is her dedication to Jude's care.  You might think that I'm informed on my son's care by reading my blogs.  What you probably don't know however is that I get a lot of my details from Tracy (and a lot of my informational proofreading corrections too).  Tracy is not only at his bedside everyday but she is constantly asking the questions that most of us don't think to ask, out of love for her son.  Tracy also invests time in learning how to take care of Jude.  I don't mean in the traditional sense of diapers and burping but learning details of a trach clean, trach change, G-Tube maintenance, etc.  If it wasn't for Tracy I would be about half as educated as I am in my son's care.
     In addition to caring for Jude though she also cares for me.  I've been amazed at her strength, faith, and endurance.  It's like two guys competing for a promotion at a construction site: if one guy picks up three boards, the other guy picks up six.  If one guy gets a wall framed in ten minutes, the other guy gets it framed in five.  No matter how much I push myself, Tracy always has more endurance than I do both in the spiritual and physical realm.  I keep asking myself when she will need me.  When will she need a talk about perseverance in faith like the one's she's given me?  When will she ask me for some time away to clear her head like she's provided me time and time again over the last couple months?  When will she need me to tell her that it's going to be ok?
     And this is why she is my anchor, or rather our anchor.  My ball and chain.  She is the glue that holds the family together (side note: if you've met Tracy's mom you'll know where she learned it from).  I think over the last couple of months we've been able to look at other couples at the hospital and say "I'm not sure how they are going through this without family close by like we've got."  I now look around and say: "I'm not sure how these husbands are going through this without a wife like I've got."