Jude the Dude

     My sister Katie titled her last blog "Jude the Dude" because her 18 month old daughter pronounces Jude's name as "Dude."   I liked the nickname so much that not only have I stolen it as my title for this blog but I am giving serious thought to making that his permanent nickname.  For now, Jude the Dude it is.
     It continues to be an adventurous week for the Schinzel family.  Tracy and I were surprised with a free collection of broken glass in our back seat and one of those permanent open windows you read about in luxury, European auto magazines courtesy of the guy who stole my GPS.  He did break up our week a little bit and afford me some time away from the hospital for a couple hours to clear my head so if that was the burglar's intent then he succeeded.  On a normal week, this would have bothered me a great deal.  My interest and background in law enforcement leads me to have a strong sense of justice.  So, admittingly there is still a part of me this week that wishes I would have caught the thief in the act, subdued him, and held him till police arrived.  This week, however, that part of me was far overshadowed by son and both the joys of his progressive recovery and the anxiety caused by his trials ahead.
     We also celebrated Tracy's birthday this weekend.  We had a small family party in the cafeteria preceded by Tracy getting plenty of time holding her favorite person.  All in all, I think Tracy would say that nothing could overshadow this present (not even the burglary).
    I suppose I would be remiss if I didn't talk about the real reason you are all reading this blog, the Dude.  I had originally written an unfinished draft of this blog in which I was talking about how great the Dude was doing.  Ironically the update, like Jude, would have been premature.  Jude is doing OK.  Prior to this evening he was doing great.  He has had really good blood gases the last few days and has been climbing down on the respirator setting to the point of where he was slowly climbing towards breathing independently (not any time really soon but he was on his way).  The doctors had decided that he was ready to start eating so they began feeding him through a feeding tube.  This, at first, was not successful but Jude kept at it and his residual results began to improve.  What are residuals?  When a baby is tube fed, the nurses go back hours after the feeding and through suction, extract any residual fluid or secretion out of the baby stomach that is not being processed.  Most premature babies like Jude will have some green, slimy residuals that are usually a result of secretions from the throat and different areas.  These secretions are not necessarily a negative and are not alarming.  When high levels of undigested milk begin appearing in the residuals, then this is a sign that the baby is not taking to the milk.  Jude has been going strong and has low milk residuals, which is good.  Jude also had chest x-rays a few days ago and the doctor yesterday morning said that they looked good and that Jude's lungs were developing.
     By now, if you are an attentive reader you have picked up on Jude's good condition being reported in the past tense.  Jude did not have a good evening.  This afternoon, while Tracy was holding him, Jude vomited.  This was a short time after feeding and most likely the result of an aspiration.  For those of you not medically inclined, an aspiration is commonly referred to as "going down the wrong pipe."  This occurrence in itself is not a reason to scrap the evening, that is true.  Chest x-rays from earlier in the day that became available showed that Jude's lungs were cloudy.  I'm not exactly sure what this means but unless you're a farmer waiting on rain for your crops "cloudy" is never a good thing.  Jude's hemoglobin count, which had been climbing and stable, is back down.  This is likely from a trach-injury which was discovered early in the evening.  Nurses performing a trach-change noticed that there was blood coming from inside his throat after a suction and there was some blood in his stomach which is believed to have been a drain from his throat.  His last two blood gases, which I will never understand what the numbers mean, were dumbed down for me as simply "not good."  Jude likely has an infection of some kind, although everyone is quick not to tell us an assumption that might be incorrect, and the word pneumonia has been heard by these ears around his bedside.  The on-call doctor this evening said that there may be a need for Jude to go back on the larger, oscillating ventilator if his condition is not improving.  For now, we can just wait and pray to see what happens with Jude's condition overnight.
     Despite all of this happening tonight and the ANTS (Automatic Negative Thoughts) trying to march in my head, I can't help but think about Maurice Hooks (the Lead Evangelist for the Kansas City Church of Christ) and his final point from yesterday's lesson: Romans 8:28.  This scripture reads: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."  Maurice concluded the scripture with this point (paraphrased of course [possibly quite poorly]): "If you really believe this scripture then you will trust that everything that has happened in the past and everything that will occur is done for your own good.  If you really believe, then you will not doubt God's plans or lose faith in the future ever again."  This scripture has been resounding throughout my day!!!!  Every time the ANTS go marching on and on into my head I send them packing out the other side by thinking about this scripture and about Maurice's point.  Again and again, I have kept going back to it.  "You're GPS that was stolen is not covered by your auto insurace...."  BAM!  Romans 8:28  "Jude vomitted earlier and we're not sure why..."  POW!  Romans 8:28.  And on and on throughout the day where I would normally slip into bleak thoughts and an unnecessary list of possible outcomes God disallowed this from happening through Romans 8:28.  Tracy, who I think must recite this scripture subconsciously in her sleep, seems unaffected by the somewhat traumatic afternoon.  Her quiet calm, which is not to be confused with distance or numbness, is a result of her freakishly strong faith.
     Despite all of today, one cannot deny the amazing working of God's blessings in our lives.  We were blessed to get time with Mark and Jodi Hayward last night for a few hours (for those in the KC area who know who that is and how lucky you are when you get time with the Haywards).  We were engulfed in love and encouragement as we returned to church yesterday morning.  The amount of encouragement and support we received was nothing short of miraculous!  Though I would give nothing short of my life to take away any pain Jude has to endure, I cannot help but feel that Tracy, Jude, and I  are lucky in all of this.  We are lucky enough to be in a situation where God's love and the love of his family is being poured down upon his.  We are truly clothed in love from God and His family.  Not too many will ever get to feel THIS MUCH love and encouragement.  It is an experience that is truly unique.  We continue to be grateful for how God has taken care of us and provided us with really all we need.  Please continue to pray for the Dude and he will do his part to get back on track.  God is good and is working.  It's tough to see that while you're in it.  Like Jude crying after his heel getting pricked for blood tests, it's tough to understand the pain when your going through it.  But just the fact that Maurice was inspired to preach a message that was so quickly applicable shows that God is present.